Friday, 21 February 2014

DITCHING THE B*TCHING



Hi lovelies! Let me ask you something, have you ever walked up to a girl in the street, that you've never met before, purely to tell her that her lipstick doesn't suit her? Or that her eyes look weird? Or that's she too fat, or too skinny? Have you ever listened to a stranger talking and interrupted to tell them how stupid they are? You're probably thinking 'No! Of course not! Who does that?!', but then let me ask you this, have you ever commented on an Instagram post to say 'that dress isn't for you' or indirectly tweeted about someone's looks, or started a slanging match on twitter just because you disagree with a comment someone has made? Maybe?

Well, that's what I wanted to talk about today. I see so much of this every single day, all over the internet. Girls commenting on other girls photos picking at their apperance, bloggers starting arguments with other bloggers over minor things, disagreements over tweets, nasty, bitchy comments on Guru Gossip (boo, hiss!) and I just don't get it. It genuinely shocks and upsets me when I see this, particularly in the blogging community, but elsewhere too. Just today, I saw a photo of a totally stunning girl on Instagram, with a comment along the lines of 'Your dress doesn't suit you, you look really weird', not the worst comment ever, but that'd certainly be enough to ruin my day.

What gets to me, is the girl that wrote it probably wrote it in a second, then went about her day, while if the girl who posted the photo saw the comment, it could've seriously knocked her confidence. I know that some people take things like that well and can just brush it off, but I also know that a lot of people, myself included, can't. While I've not experienced this much myself, I'm not too proud to admit that things like that would genuinely hurt me, had they have been directed at me. It's not just comments on photos either, I've seen people be unnecessarily nasty and rude over a simple tweet that they've disagreed with, or hashtag they didn't like and I just don't understand what people are getting out of it. Obviously people are going to disagree sometimes, and discussions about this can be interesting and helpful, but is there really a need to argue about it? You get all riled up over something that really didn't have anything to do with you, get yourself into an argument, often with several people involved, then not only put a downer on your own day, but several other people's too.

Something I think that is important to remember, is that nastily calling someone out on something you disagree with doesn't make you a bigger or smarter person. Commenting on someone's looks on a photo will not make you feel any better about yourself and sitting typing nasty things over the internet can do a lot more damage than you realise. Just because you're not face to face seeing the damage you've caused, it doesn't mean it isn't there. You could've ruined someone's day, knocked someone's confidence or battered someone's possibly already low self esteem and for what exactly? Do you really enjoy those two seconds of tweeting a nasty tweet, or posting a bitchy comment? Or do you write it, then forget about it? Words can hurt people just as much as physical violence, your words. Do you really want to be that person?

So, instead of the bitching and nastiness, today, I challenge you to give out at least one compliment to someone. It could be your best friend or a stranger. Not just a 'you look nice' or, 'fab blog post!', take time, look deeper and think about it. Does their hair look particularly lovely today? Do they have a really pretty, happy smile? Did their blog post really interest you? Tell them exactly why they're so fab. Make someone feel amazing. Remember that your words could have a huge impact on someone, so why not make it a good one?

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21 comments:

  1. I agree with everything you've written. I wrote a similar post, albeit much shorter and less detailed, on my blog the other day http://startanewstartafresh.blogspot.co.uk/2014/02/where-has-love-in-blogging-gone.html - it's ridiculous how petty some people are being! x

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  2. I completely agree with this post. I don't know how anyone could bring themselves to comment something nasty on anyone's posts/photos! They'd never do it in real life and they wouldn't like anyone to do it to them.

    Katrina xxx

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  3. Who wouldn't agree with everything you've said in this post- it's all so true! Everyone has feelings, even if you don't think they do. Whatever you say makes an impact!

    Sharlotte | UK Beauty Blog

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  4. Excellent post! I really wish girls would be nicer to each other. I always like to tell people I like their shoes or hair, it's just me being honest (and usually trying to find out where I can get the shoes myself!) but I know it makes their day too. It's sad that when a girl sees you looking at them she will automatically think it's for a bitchy reason, it's not always the case!

    Jenn | PhotoJennic

    x

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  5. Well said Chloe :) I've seen a lot of this around too recently, especially Twitter. People should definitely start focusing on the positives rather than the negatives and causing arguments xx

    belle-amiebeauty.blogspot.co.uk

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  6. I agree with you, the internet has become a vicious place and one of the main grounds for bullies to do their bullying. I've had some mean comments, but I just ignore them. I just think to myself, sure I don't know these people and so I couldn't care less what they say. Because I find that if you even write one comment back in response to their comment, it will just extend the hurt as they are sure to write even more mean things, so just leave them. :)
    Eneshai
    http://thebeautifulcloud.blogspot.ie/
    xxx

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  7. THANK YOU. I have seriously had enough of seeing such horrible, petty comments on twitter. blogs and GG. It's okay to give some constructive criticism, but to just make horrible bitchy comments about someones appearance, personality or blogging style is just wrong. I think sometimes people forget that there's areal person behind that blog or twitter handle. I recently had some really nasty comments on a post I wrote because people disagreed with me sharing my opinion, even though it was on my blog and they weren't actually followers of my blog!

    I ended up deleting the post as I was getting traffic purely for that post and the comments were basically either 'you're pathetic' or 'you'll never be a successful youtuber or blogger' which wasn't exactly helpful!

    I always take the time to comment on posts or tweet people if I love their style or look or if I really enjoy their blog or specific posts, it's a lot more fun to make people happy than to try to pull them down :)

    Albertine xx

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  8. Excellent post, this is seriously brilliant xx

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  9. This is such a good post! Well done Chloe!

    http://lifeasshewrote.blogspot.co.uk/

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  10. This is an amazing post. I completely agree with what you have said. I think sometimes people find it too easy to sit behind their computer and type nasty things, with no repercussions. xxx

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  11. Treat people how you would like to be treated and if you have nothing positive to say say nothing at all!
    http://wotshernameagain.blogspot.co.uk/

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  12. Excellent post Chloe, what's wrong with being kind?? I'm enjoying twitter but I do know there is a horrible and nasty side to it xx

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  13. Good post, I agree with it but would say that people are always going to say mean things, i don't think you can change that. It's just sad that things like these forums on the web seem to bring the bullies out in force. I had my first experience with one of those sites this week and it's knocked my confidence a lot, which wasn't really there to begin with. I think it's fairly likely they're going to win and I'll delete the blog altogether.

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  14. Great post- very much agree. I don't know why so many people feel they have a say in strangers lives to the point where they actually tell them, like you said you wouldn't do it in real life, yet over the internet some people think it gives them a free licence to be mean.

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  15. Great post, I agree if people are happy with their appearance there is no need for snide remarks. It is unfair to make people feel bad when they are doing something they enjoy, such as blogging. It just ruins the experience and confidence that person has xxx

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  16. Fortunately I've never seen this behaviour, but it saddens me that this happens when blogging should be something you can enjoy, and not have to worry about what someone else thinks. Those are very wise words Chloe! x

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  17. Great post and I very much agree!
    Beth x

    http://www.thebritishgirl.co.uk/

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  18. Rest post Hun, I totally agree. I've had things written about me and literally even the smallest comment ruins my day and it's even made me want to give up blogging and YT, if it wasn't for my family I'd probably given up by now. I'm quite the sensitive soul.

    Liza | Beauty & Fashion Blog Glambeautys | YouTube | Family & Lifestyle Blog Glambambini

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  19. This is so true, I completely agree! When did everyone start focusing on the negatives, and forgetting about the positives? Its just as easy to write a nice comment which could really make someone's day, than it is to write a nasty one. If they really don't have anything nice to say, it takes even less time and energy to say nothing at all.

    http://www.emiliarosebeauty.blogspot.co.uk/

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  20. Love this post!!!

    http://cat3zoe.blogspot.co.uk/
    xxx

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  21. I love this post! It's like the saying 'if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all'. People often go around with the attitude that things they say or write are throw away comments, without thinking of the effect it might have X

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