Hi lovelies! Today, I thought I'd do another Girly Advice post to follow my 'How to not get hit on' post. This time, it's super helpful post with a few hints and tips about how to be the most
Instagram everything. Not just every meal in a restaurant, but every meal you eat, had cornflakes today and yesterday? Instagram it again, there's no way that looks the same as before and it's in a different bowl today. Not just every cute thing your pet does, every single thing your pet does, sleeping in it's bed? Eating dog biscuits? Cat in the litter tray? Snap away - and don't forget to hashtag like mad #cute #dog #dogsofinstagram #cat #kitty #feline, the more the BETTER. Selfie before a night out? No. Selfie before everything. Off to work, selfie. Popping to Tescos, selfie. Going to the dentist, selfie. HASHTAG NO FILTER.
punctuation is for suckers who actually needs full stops capitals letters commas apostrophes and paragraphs aint nobody got time for that and it totally makes sense without it. no punctuation just makes it look like you were typing in a hurry and had no time to worry about full stops and commas it makes you look like a busy business woman and people love that just put a full stop at the end of the post though you dont want to look crazy.
Spam your link like crazy. People love that shit. Better still, write a generic 'follow for follow' comment, e.g. 'Great Post that I totally didn't even read. Why don't we follow eachother?! www.reevaluateyourlife.blogspot.com xxxx', copy, paste and leave it everywhere. You're bound to get a million followers an hour this way, people will really appreciate the time you took to press Ctrl C, Ctrl V over and over and then they'll definitely go straight to your blog to follow you. It's foolproof.
This step is called the Social Network crossover. Get a facebook page for your blog and a twitter page for your blog and post 'follow me on twitter' on facebook and 'like my facebook page!' on twitter. Do this hourly until you have ten thousand followers. Better still, tweet celebrities asking them to retweet your blog link, Justin Bieber probably has a lot of free time these days...
Copy other bloggers. Many people are making the mistake of writing something a bit different on their blog these days, no one wants that! Find a few blogs you love and buy what they buy, review what they review, wear what they wear. The bigger bloggers didn't get where they are today by being original, duh.
Apple is your friend. You simply must own an iPad, MacBook, iPhone and anything else you can get your hands on. Then instagram (see step one) every single time you use any of the above. It's imperative that people know you have apple products. If you can't afford to replace all of your electronics, just take a bite out of an apple and tape it to your old Dell laptop. No one will notice.
Buy every single hyped up product ever. You never wear eyeshadow, but everyone has the Naked 3 palette, so you totally need it anyway. Use it once and swatch it on your blog, then leave it in the back of a cupboard forever, or better yet, stick it in a blogsale two weeks after your review. The point it, you had it when it was cool and that MATTERS.
Of course, the most important step is to actually ignore this entire post and do your blog your way. This is of course, a jokey post and all of these should be taken lightly (I'm actually guilty of the instagram one myself!!)
Let me know if you enjoy silly posts like this, as I love to write something a little different every now and again!