A MAN'S RIDICULOUS GUIDE FOR LADIES - BEST JEWELLERY AND THEIR #OOTD

Hi lovelies! Ever wondered about a man's true opinion on women's fashion? Well, one man tells all! Read on for his views!

Fashion is a puzzling thing to most men, and I am no exception to that rule –read on for this man's awkward take on what's hot and what's not.

Alright so as a blogger, I tend to do a lot of research before I open up about any given topic but this time I thought I'd wing it for the sake of your own personal entertainment.

Looking through scores of web pages with the acronym #OOTD, I was educated in its meaning as I thought it was just a Canadian way for spelling “out”. It turns out it means “outfit of the day”, how neato.

Billions of photos come pouring onto my laptop screen, those of self-described fashionistas who were probably foodies yesterday; who have their boyfriend follow them around with an expensive camera neither of them know how to use very well, and heaps of compliments in the comments.

I feel like I'm looking at a different website altogether –cut off heads, angled shots that are rarely ever thoughtfully framed, I begin to get vertigo and take a moment. 10 minutes and one bullet-proof coffee later, I am ready: I brave the polite, reassuring and sometimes bizarre TMI comments because there is no accounting for taste and I hamper on.

I see Beetlejuice pants are popular again! Rad.

And then I find what I was looking for; a Cyndi Lauper clone giving it straight, telling it like it is, at the ripe old age of seventeen.

Mental note to self: Girl sites have more girl pictures than guy sites about girls do.

With over 260,000 Instagram followers, I think I found my lady girl. She's hip, happenin' and wears really flappy hats. I'm sold.

I peruse, and I peruse some more, and then it hits me in the head like a Ugg boot on the first day of Spring; she actually looks pretty good, and I am beginning to get it.

Tones and Jewellery

I will not buy the big giant gaudy, err, “Gotti” rock nonsense, I am simply too male, and too old (33) to fall for that –but what she said about skin tones intrigued me because it reminded me of Art School. Cool tones look good next to warm tones, and primary colours look best matched with secondary colours.

So, in my boy mind looking at this diagram, a blue pair of shorts looks wonderful with an orange top. Eh? Am I getting it or what? Move over Blue Steel Ben Stiller.

Well, the same rules apply for gemstones and precious metals; wearing a purple top with say, a sparkly citrine gemstone gold ring will make you look pretty alright. Throw on a neutral like a brown or khaki pair of pants or jacket, and you're good to go.

Wearing a warm colour? Then try a delightful blue tanzanite gem stone in the form of a brooch, tennis bracelet, and a platinum ring and as bonus earrings to match it. Platinum rings have quite gotten the popularity it clearly deserves. And why not? Learn more about platinum rings and see why it is on the rise.

Not bad so far, I'm glad we did this.

The next website I find is 1,000 photos of a girl wearing different things and she is clearly in a store dressing room. Oh, le sigh. I am a blogger, I know a lot of bloggers, and I pity any shopkeeper trying to figure out if that selfie-obsessed fashion blogger is going to buy anything. I'd ask for her URL and see if her site is monetized and how it ranks on Google. If she isn't first page, she's going to be asked to leave.

But I digress.

Her colours followed the magical thing I just learned above, except she also explored patterns quite a bit. My scroll-bar indicator draggy-thingy was about 2mm thick, so the page was long and the quantity of photos immense. I picked up a pattern though, and I am not just making a pun!

Simple outfit, one big chunky piece of jewellery to tie it all together; colours matched as mentioned before. So I guess this is the piece of flair I heard so much about in Office Space. She certainly was doing the “bare minimum” (joke you will not understand without seeing this movie) with a really nice oversized antique Seamaster watch, and the bracelet and necklace were by Sira & Mara. And anything more would have been overdoing it, so nice job.

All of this jewellery gazing has made me feel like exploring engagement rings –for me. I mean men. Yes, not for me. I am a lowly, single blogger man. But haven't you ever thought about jewellery for I don't know, not you? Come, let us explore how to choose the perfect engagement ring for a man, you modern woman, you.