Friday, 7 October 2016
LIVING WITH A BOY
Hi lovelies! A bit of a different post for you all today. As much as I adore well thought out beauty, fashion and food posts, there's sometimes nothing I love more than sitting on my sofa and writing up a good old chatty post. So, today, I wanted to write about something that's a little bit random, but I've been planning to write it for some time now. I'm at that stage in life where a lot of my friends are starting to move in with their partners, get engaged, generally just start being proper grown ups, so I thought I'd write a semi helpful post about moving in with a boy.
Of course, not everyone that's moving out of their family home is going to be moving in with a boyfriend, but that's what I did and I have no experience with any other situation, so that's what this post will be focused on! I'm going to share with you all a few things I've learned since living with my now fiancé Darren. We've lived alone together for almost a year now and together at my Mum's place for a year or so prior to that, so obviously everyone's different so your experience may be different to mine, but these are a few lets call them 'observations' that I've had since living with a boy.
The Washing Basket Complex
If you live with a guy who knows how to use a washing basket then where did you find him? Was it on this planet? What really throws my particular male human is that we have two washing baskets, lights and darks. Darren and I have a deal, he takes the bins out and does all the washing up if I do the laundry. This is fine. However, I thought I was making life easier when I got two washing baskets for light clothes and dark clothes. To Darren though, this means one for black clothes, one for LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE. Navy jumper? Light wash. Dark flannel shirt? Light wash. Burgundy Polo shirt? Throw it in with the white bed sheets! What's the worst that could happen? It is what it is, I'm just grateful he has me to guide him or bae would be rocking a lot of pink work shirts by now. This of course only applies to when he actually puts things in the washing baskets, there is also a floordrobe at the bottom of our bed almost all the time.
You'll quickly stop caring about hiding 'girly things'
Darren actually lived with me at my Mum's place for a long time before we moved in together alone, so this stage was long over by the time we moved into our house, but when you first start living with a guy, things like razors, tampons, pore cleansing strips etc. will be safely tucked away because you'll want to keep the illusion that you're a perfect little princess who doesn't have periods, clogged pores and body hair. Yep you'll get over this, soon enough, your brand new pink razor will be sat by the sink with his mono-brow hair stuck in it (his fiancee is a beautician but he still shaves the damn thing), your tampons and pads will be bros with his shaving cream and you'll sit infront of bake off wearing nose pore strips together (it's just the right balance of gross and fun). Boundaries will eventually be a thing of the past, but I would recommend you keep some. Number twos are strictly a solo activity in our house - if you do that in front of anyone, please, please stop.
They don't 'get' decor
By this, I mean literally anything that has little to no purpose other than looking nice. They won't understand why it's so frustrating that they didn't put the boho style elephant back in his correct position on the stairs after they kicked it out of place. They won't get why it matters that they've put the cushions zip side up on the sofa and they'll look at you like you're an actual and literal psychopath when you tell them that that candle was not for burning. Again, this doesn't go for all guys, but Darren's idea of decoration is putting his many pairs of trainers in a neat line instead of a heap by the front door. Just bolt down your ornaments and save time.
You may be surprised if you let him have control of the remote
Football? Forever dull. American Pickers? Actually pretty interesting. I'm absolutely not a Towie, Ex On The Beach or Keeping Up With The Kardashians kinda girl, but I do love a bit of Take Me Out or Don't Tell The Bride from time to time and sometimes instead of joining him when Darren put on a proper 'boys' show, I'd just stick my headphones in, listen to some Green Day and blog away, but actually, sometimes giving his choice of TV Show or Movie a go isn't so bad after all. Fun fact, Olympus Has Fallen? Pretty good.
You'll question if they could ever actually live alone
Darren and I actually have never lived totally alone, so I don't even know if he could have ever coped, but he certainly couldn't now. Real life example: unpacking the food shopping, Darren has bought himself a frozen pizza. From the freezer section. I later find said pizza in the fridge. Not life threatening, but not fucking clever. Living alone, he would have to set aside half his pay cheque for washing up liquid. If it weren't for me stepping in, my 23 year old fiancé would literally have an accidental foam party for one every single time he does the dishes. I've caught him very nearly putting face scrub on sunburn to get rid of the peeling skin, I've stopped him flushing numerous definitely not flushable things down the toilet, the list goes on. He may be clever in some ways, but house trained he is not.
You'll wonder how you ever lived without them
While you may take on the role of mum and feel like you do a lot for him, he probably does a lot of the jobs you don't like to/ don't ever do. Like, did you actually catch your own spiders at one point? Did you have to put the bins out? Ughh. Light bulbs! Men are actually pretty good at getting a new light bulb when the old one goes, then they actually change it too. You don't have to live in the dark forever, who knew!
They are essentially big, not so fluffy puppies that walk on two legs
This is in the sense that they often fuck up, do things wrong and unintentionally destroy the things you love (champagne glasses, decorative candles..), but when they do a good job, they want to know that they're a GOOD BOY. Scenario: *I get home from work late* Darren: 'Babe, babe!! I did the washing up and I hoovered and I cleaned the bath even the hair from the plughole!' Cool well done, but why is the pile of recycling I asked you to put out still on the side? Has the dog been fed yet? And why are there socks in the fire place? The thing is, if they've not had to do these jobs before, they do feel a sense of accomplishment. Go with it, give them a belly rub and a biscuit and then gently point out the other things that perhaps needed doing first. It's a learning curve for both of you and getting angry at each other for the small stuff solves nothing.
You'll have to make an effort to keep a bit of mystery
Other than absolutely NOT doing gross things in front of each other in the bathroom, there are other ways to keep a bit of mystery in the relationship. Wearing a brand new outfit on date night, surprising them with little gifts or meals out. It's important not to let everything get too routine just because you live together. Darren and I still go out just the two of us, or have special nights in, it's nice to still 'date' each other, even if you're not just dating any more.
It'll make or break your relationship
Ultimately, living alone together will show you the true strength of your relationship. It's tough at times, you'll get to know (and eventually accept) every single annoying habit, you'll argue over silly things and want to literally kill each other plenty of times, but despite all that, if you're in it for the long haul, it'll also bring you closer and closer together every single day. If you can cope with all their quirks, they are your lobster.
So that's it for now! I'd love to know what you thought of this post!
As I said, not everything in this post applies to all guys, it is to be taken lightly, so no drama! Thanks for reading!