Monday, 3 September 2018

NEXT CHAPTER

100 Inspirational and Motivational Quotes of All Time! (61)

I've read countless posts like this one in the past and almost every time, they start with 'I can't believe I'm writing this' or 'this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do'. What about though, when you can believe you're writing it and actually, it isn't the hardest thing you've ever had to do? Fairly recently, myself and Darren decided very mutually to split after just a year of marriage. And we're really, totally okay.

It's a funny thing when a relationship comes to an end in any way, but when a relationship comes to an end 'just because', it's a whole other ball game. Of course, there were reasons and signs that perhaps we weren't quite in it for the long haul, but mostly when explaining to people why we were breaking up, we had little else to say other than 'it just doesn't feel right'. See, sometimes it's not about waiting for the fall out, sometimes it's okay to just say, we gave it a go and it didn't work out.

From the outside, it's easy to believe that a couple have it all, the perfect marriage and the perfect life and in some more basic ways, we did. We got on well, we have a great group of mutual friends, we went on lovely holidays together, we did lots of cool stuff together. We loved each other. Though when we stepped back from the social media worthy highlights reel and took a good look at the behind the scenes, it wasn't quite the same as the picture we were painting.

Of course there were reasons that we'd discussed that were factors, many of our interests, beliefs and ideas for the future, while not wrong on either side, did not align in the way they should in a marriage. Some of these were things we overlooked, not really thinking about the future because we were (and of course, still are!!) so young. We got engaged aged 22 and 23 and married at 23 and 24 and while at the time, we thought we were doing the right thing, we definitely hadn't quite considered the long term.

It's not to say we argued all the time or either of us did anything nasty to abruptly end the relationship, but we just realised we didn't quite love one another in the way you should when you're in it forever. It by no means we dislike each other and it by no means is to say we never loved each other at all. I do think though that when you meet someone so young, you either grow together or you grow apart. For a good while, we grew together and then we didn't and there's not a lot more to it than that.

I guess my reason for writing this post is not only to just let you all know what's been going on without the guesswork of cryptic posts and subtle clues, but just to put it out there, sometimes things don't work out and sometimes, it's okay to actually be okay. Despite your own feelings on the situation, knowing that you've got to break the news to those around you that view your relationship as 'perfect' is hard. It sucks in fact, but there comes a time where you need to be brave and do what's best for you.

Please do feel free to pop me a message on Instagram or by email on chloe@chloesway.com if you're going through anything similar to this. I'm not looking for nor do I need sympathy in this situation, but it's tricky one and if I can help anyone else get through something similar then I'd love to do so.

Until next time

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