Tuesday, 16 April 2019

MY FIRST SMEAR TEST

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I have to admit, I thought I’d have more to say writing this post. I thought I’d be able to write paragraph after paragraph of useful advice, intimate details of every moment of what I expected to be an uncomfortable and mildly traumatising experience. Instead, I’m going to tell you all about the reality of my very first smear test. If you’re squeamish about reading about lady things, I suggest in the kindest and sweetest way possible that you get over it and keep reading because this sh*t is important.

So, a little over a month ago, rather aptly on International Women’s Day, I was booked in for the appointment every girl in her mid-twenties absolutely dreads, my first cervical smear. While I’m super aware of the importance of these and just how lucky we are to have such a service provided for free, I was so nervous. Like, 14 year old me getting braces nervous. I spoke to my friends, my Mum, my work colleagues and pretty much anyone else who would listen about how nervous I was. I’d taken to the internet and read up about how it worked, I’d watched videos and encountered some very scientific looking diagrams and still, I was scared. None the less, I left work at lunch time, gave myself an hour at home to pull myself together and headed off to my appointment. The nurse was running a little late which admittedly didn’t help my increasing nerves, but I just sat and read a book and tried to chill (definitely recommend having something to distract you beforehand if you’re a little nervous!) and then it was time.

So I went in, the nurse very quickly went over how it all worked, showed me the speculum that’d be used and that was that. I laid on the bed undressed from the waist down (I was luckily wearing a dress which I’d also recommend!) with my knees bent and legs open in what I’m sure was only a very flattering and classy position and she got started. It took a little wiggle (her) and a couple of deep breaths (me) to get the speculum in there but almost as soon as she had, she told me it was done.

I don’t think I’ve never had a more ‘was that it?’ moment in my life.

I wouldn’t even go as far as to call it uncomfortable, it was just a bit weird. Too much information incoming so fair warning – I am fairly tight down there, I was terrified that this was going to feel like I was being ripped apart, it’s not often (it’s never) that I stick anything more than a tampon up there when I'm not 'in the mood' if you catch my very obvious and possibly inappropriate drift. But it was nothing. I know everyone’s different and perhaps I got lucky, but I won’t lie, I was tensed up, in theory, I was probably making things slightly difficult for the nurse but it just felt a little odd then it was done. I was super squeamish about the idea of the little brush wiggling about but I didn’t even feel that part happening so that was a pleasant surprise. She asked if I'd bought pads or liners as there was a little blood (I hadn't, because a Girl Scout I am not), but it was fine and this is totally normal apparently. Overall, the idea of it and the waiting around was much, much worse than the reality.

I then trotted off for lunch and a cocktail with my bestie to celebrate this important female milestone and then forgot about it for four weeks. The nerves hit again when my results letter came through in the post but it was normal so nothing to report there. I’ll definitely be booking again right away when I’m next summoned that’s for sure!

Short story even shorter, it’s fine. Do it. Go.
Even if it is a little uncomfortable for you, it can and does save lives all the time. We are so lucky to be provided such a service and you’d be mad not to take advantage. IF you’re currently putting it off, level up your Girl Power and book it in.

Until next time Angels!

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